I've wanted to write this post for awhile, but it was never quite right. Today I think it will be.
While growing up, most kids are afraid of something. Some are afraid of spiders, some are afraid of swimming, and some are afraid of dogs. My personal demon was the dark. Everything about the dark--including the potential for what it held--terrified me. Out of all of the things the dark could hide, I was scared of two more than the others--monsters and ghosts.
As I've grown older, the dark has come to be less terrifying, but I've come to realize that monsters and ghosts are real. However, instead of the boogey man, ferocious animals, and disembodied beings, monsters and ghosts are the realities of the choices we've made and life simply happening. Monsters take the form of losing
loved ones too early, grey hair at 22, friends being HIV positive, heartbreak, abuse, families falling apart, body image issues that
don't go away with adolescence, cancer, voluntarily going to therapy, miscarriages, and emotional breakdowns on a random Tuesday. Everyday we have to deal with ghosts of the past--past relationships, consequences of past choices, and memories (good and bad) of all our favorite places and we can't wipe any of those away. All of these things become a part of us and become what a lot of people like to call "Baggage".
On that note, here's the song of the day: "Your Biggest Mistake" by Ellie Goulding.
I found a website today that has a bunch of people answer what Ten Songs Saved Their Life and decided to give it a go myself.
1. Summer '79 | The Ataris
2. Running Out of Reasons to Run | Rick Trevino
3. More Time | Needtobreathe
4. Scream | Hedley
5. From Where You Are | Lifehouse
6. Perth | Bon Iver
7. Camera One | Josh Joplin Group
8. As Long As It Takes | The Spill Canvas
9. Elephant and Castle | Houston Calls
10. Resolution | Jack's Mannequin
"Each
of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself
seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in
pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can
never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But
I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will
come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."
DANG IT! This was supposed to be posted on Sunday but the scheduling thing didn't work...Here's the post I wrote:
Heyo! It has been THREE years, THREE months, and THREE days since I started this blog! WHOOOO!!!! That was a lot of capital letters and exclamation marks.
In case you missed it, here is a link to the first post, which explains the name of the post and a bunch of random other stuff. Since that time, this bad boy has gone through a lot of background changes, a month of ugly sweaters, a trip to Europe, a plethora of costume pictures, and a lot of my thoughts about the world.
You should probably go read the post so this picture is in context. I think somehow I have not put picture evidence of this up yet.
...and here's what I've learned so far:
-High School Musical is considered a drama
-90% of documentaries can fall into exactly 3 broad categories: religion, dinosaurs/fish, and supernatural things
-Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is seriously in every. single. genre.
-British television is 50% Dr. Who
-Kids movies outnumber everthing else 927:1
-Movie genres have very strict guidelines for movie covers. Take, for example, Action and Adventure:
Also, I recently discovered that my timelapse room cleaning video was private. It has now been set to public so you can actually watch it :D Anywho, more life lessons from Netflix to come later.
On the second episode of Parks and Rec from this season, Ben said something to which everyone who has ever edited anything can relate:
Ben: So I've been going over your reports...let's try to be consistent with our fonts, guys, ok? There's a crazy amount of random font differences in these memos.
April: Yeah people, consistent font usage, come on.
Ben: Times New Roman across the board. No Geneva, no Garamond, and definitely no Papyrus.
April: Are you kidding me? There is no place for Papyrus in a professional setting.
Ben: Oh. And 12 point.
So I wrote a post the other day, posted it, then promptly deleted it a few short hours later. Why? Because it was depressing. Not that I have anything against depressing posts, but this one included a very sad and awkward video that made the viewer feel nothing but awkwardness and pity for the subject, aka me. Anywho, if you really want to find said video I'm sure you can. Moving on. Heyo.
Let me tell you a little bit about my experience with relationships. First of all, I have this nasty habit of trying to see the best in everyone, which has led me to my fair share of fixer-upper relationships (Please note, this does not include all relationships I've been in, just some of them). This simply means that some dudes exist in the world that should not be in relationships for a variety of reasons, yet I see the good inside them and decide that I should be their girlfriend. First mistake. I should just learn to stay friends with these fine fellows. Stemming from that, from each dude in my relationship history, I've started to learn what I like about some boyfriends and what I don't like about some boyfriends. Each of them (regardless of how good/bad/otherwise the relationship was), had some quality that I liked at some point. Here are a few examples:
Made me laugh
Made me think
Made me dinner
Sang to me
Had ambition
Stood for their beliefs
Dressed well
Were honest and open about everything
Brushed my hair out of my face
Encouraged me to do better
Liked my friends
Liked my dog
Took me on adventures
Brought me back to reality
Used the brain inside their head
Genuinely cared about people around them
Lived passionately
Wanted to improve the world, not just live in it
Those were just a few. So here's the skinny, as someone told me yesterday, when you're young your heart is supposed to get broken and it will happen more than once. The lesson I learned is that through every dating experience, I've recognized something unique in each guy I'm drawn to. While whatever quality I'm drawn to seems like the most important quality for any man to ever have ever, really, what I'm recognizing is the unique strengths of each person. Because I already know them, the most dominant parts of their personality will obviously seem like the most important quality at the time, because for them, those are the most important things. Because I'm already attracted to them, they also seem like the most important. Make sense? Good. Because I think that was a logical loop of some kind. I do not have the foggiest clue where this was supposed to be going so I'm going to bed now.
Oh wait. I have a sweet-A video for you. Timelapse Room Cleaning. Oooohhhh yeeeaaaahhhh. Proof that I can have a clean room! :D
Sooo awhile ago (Valentine's Day), I made a YouTube playlist full of lovely songs about being in love. It covered quite the spectrum of genres. Anywho, on one ill-fated day, my iPod died, so I had to listen to music from my phone. My phone has a plethora of issues, including the inability to play Pandora for more than approximately 7.6 minutes at a time, so I was stuck with YouTube. APPARENTLY, if you have a playlist on YouTube, you can just press 'play all' and you're good to go. So that's what I did. Whilst doing so I discovered something verrrra verrrra strange. Two videos on this playlist had bunnies in them. Not only did they have bunnies, but they also included the word 'Accident' in the title. Weeeeiiirrrdddd. Here they are for your viewing pleasure.
1. "My Favorite Accident" by Motion City Soundtrack
